Your Time Is Your Life

If we see someone blowing money or throwing away food, we think what a waste. We rarely think about time the same way. It’s the only thing we wake up with less of than we went to bed with.

79 years is the average life expectancy in the United States. The average American commuter wastes more than 50 hours a year in traffic. 96% of Americans own a cell phone that they check more than 90 times a day.

“No person hands out their money to passersby, but to how many do each of us hand out our lives! We're tight-fisted with property and money, yet think too little of wasting time, the one thing about which we should all be the toughest misers." - Seneca

Time seems infinite when we’re in the day-to-day grind, but it’s absolutely finite. I’ve been working to be more cognizant of time and how I’m spending my minutes. Especially when I think about the things I commit to.

“Always think about what you’re actually being asked to give. Because the answer is often a piece of your life, usually in exchange for something you don’t even want. Remember, that’s what time is. It’s your life, it’s your flesh and blood, that you can never get back.” – Ryan Holiday

I’ve been thinking of time in terms of things I like to do and how many more times I’ll get to do them. I’m 29 and if I live to be 79, that means I have 50 more summers. Then I think about how many of those summers I’ll be physically capable of doing the things I enjoy. It adds a good sense of urgency. It gets rid of that feeling that I have forever to do things.

I discovered the Tail End by Tim Urban and he talks about thinking of time in terms of relationships. He goes into more detail, so I recommend reading it, but here it is in a nutshell:

“I’ve been thinking about my parents, who are in their mid-60s. During my first 18 years, I spent some time with my parents during at least 90% of my days. But since heading off to college and then later moving out of Boston, I’ve probably seen them an average of only five times a year each, for an average of maybe two days each time. 10 days a year. About 3% of the days I spent with them each year of my childhood.

Being in their mid-60s, let’s continue to be super optimistic and say I’m one of the incredibly lucky people to have both parents alive into my 60s. That would give us about 30 more years of coexistence. If the ten days a year thing holds, that’s 300 days left to hang with mom and dad. Less time than I spent with them in any one of my 18 childhood years.

When you look at that reality, you realize that despite not being at the end of your life, you may very well be nearing the end of your time with some of the most important people in your life. If I lay out the total days I’ll ever spend with each of my parents—assuming I’m as lucky as can be—this becomes starkly clear”

This is a useful exercise. If your parents are over 79, you’re already in the bonus years. If not, here’s the equation:

79 – (your parents age) X (# of times you see them per year) = How many visits you have left.

You can use this equation with any important relationship. It can make you sad or it can change how you prioritize your time.